I'm a staff member for this amazing organization that focuses on the personal and leadership development of middle and high school students. Something we cover at the annual summer workshops for the senior high students is the story of Harry S. Truman and "the buck stops here." Truman had this phrase on a plaque displayed on his desk during his presidency. The phrase derives from "passing the buck," or passing the blame or responsibility unto someone else. For Truman, the passing of the buck stopped at his desk. Passing the responsibility ended with him.
Accountability has been something I hold close to the core. As a leader in a few collegiate organizations, I made it a point to keep others and myself accountable for a variety of intentional or accidental missteps. But after much distress and the loss of a few pounds, acting as the "almighty champion of maintaining accountability" became exhausting. I became a self-inflicting "Truman." I would just accept responsibility for everything. Things that weren't even my fault. It was easier that way. Less arguing, less stress, less acne. That mindset consumed me. It became an insecurity. I adopted responsibility for the things I shouldn't and accepted wrongs that weren't my own. It wasn't until now, that I'm take a step back and analyze a struggling relationship I have, that I realize that I had let those newly acquired insecurities gnaw at the open, but confident composure I used to be so proud of.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't admit your wrongs. It is imperative to be aware of your mistakes so that you may grow from them. As a co-worker recently said, "insanity is making the same mistake twice." With that being said, it is also a mistake to accept faults that aren't your own. It doesn't help you or the true source of error.
It's part of my nature to try and fix certain things, but maybe I can still do that without assuming I'm the one who broke them.
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